The Untold Tale of Oscar Hijink
by Huncrweo
Summary: The first book in an all new series following magically ambidextrous Necromancer and Energy-Thrower Oscar Hijink as he navigates a post-Darquesse world.
1. Chapter 1: The Body in the Office

1

The Body in the Office

The man was dead. Or at least Oscar Hijink had thought he was until he was thrown out the window.

To be fair, his reasoning for thinking that the victim was deceased was pretty solid: the tear on the clothes, the dried drops of blood on his pink shirt, and the fact that his head was missing all pointed to a dead man.

Oscar hit the Roarhaven soil and rolled as the headless man leaped down from the window.

"Sorry," Oscar said in his thick American accent. "Grand Mage Sorrows was very specific in saying that you were to be moved away from this city." He held out a hand. "Do you mind?"

The headless man leaped at him and landed a two-legged kick on his chest that sent Oscar sprawling. Oscar retaliated by curling shadows around his wrist and separating the headless man's arm from his torso. There was no blood.

Zombie, Oscar thought. Had to be. Although decapitation was supposed to kill them. There were a few special cases, but it was supposed to be the head surviving, not the body.

He used the shadows to disembowel the zombie, which didn't affect it at all. He realised that Necromancy was not the answer and let the shadows dissipate. He grinned at the place where the zombie's head used to be.

"Something you should know," Oscar said. "I'm magically ambidextrous. There was a defect in my Surge, and I got a bit stuck. Obviously Necromancy doesn't hurt you, so I'all try my other discipline." His hand started to glow and he grinned again. "I'm a Necromancer(but one of the cool ones), but I'm also an Energy-Thrower."

And he burnt the zombie to a crisp.


	2. Chapter 2: Old Friends

2

Old Friends

When Oscar entered the office of Grand Mage China Sorrows, she was yelling into a phone.

"How am I supposed to run a Sanctuary, no, a country, if I've got a horde of zombies running around?"

Oscar struggled against himself as he stared into China's eternal beauty. She had hair that was as black as the night sky, although the job of Grand Mage had given her a few grey streaks. She had the palest eyes Oscar had ever seen. She slammed down the phone and turned to Oscar, regaining her composure. "Mr. Hijink. Thank you for dealing with the zombie."

Oscar dropped to his knees. "I humbly thank and love you, Grand Mage." Then he frowned. This wasn't going as well as he had planned.

China smiled. "You're sweet, Mr. Hijink. Although there is the matter of other headless zombies. Do you have any theories as to where they came from?"

"Well, Baron Vengeous experimented with creating a zombie that could survive beheading during the war against Mevolent, as did a group of Pakistani mages. I've never heard of zombies that become zombies via beheading though."

China nodded. "That's about as much as I determined. There's around twenty in Dublin. I trust you can deal with those?"

"I will, Grand Mage."

Oscar walked out, feeling elated at being an acquaintance of China Sorrows and was practically skipping until he ran into Tanith Low.

His grin disappeared. "Tanith."

She smiled back. "Oscar, how are you? I haven't seen you for... years!"

"Good." He said coldly and pushed past her. Her smile disappeared instantly.

"You've seen me recently, haven't you?"

"Yeah. When you stormed my house with that God of yours and killed my brother.

Tanith looked very pale. "That wasn't me. I had a Remnant-"

"I know. But I still can't look you in the eye and tell you I forgive you."

"Please, Oscar. I'm so sorry."

Oscar walked off and didn't turn back. He liked Tanith, he really did, but in the just-over two years that she'd had the Remnant inside her, she'd done unspeakable thinks. Unforgivable things. And Oscar would never forget that. For as long as he lived.


	3. Chapter 3: Flashback

3

Flashback

 _Five Years Ago_

 _Oscar yelled in surprise as the entire front of the house was ripped off. Darquesse floated in, Tanith Low and Billy-Ray Sanguine following her. She touched down on the floor in front of him._

 _"W-what do you want?" Oscar asked, his words choking him._

 _"Just your brother. He has knowledge in unknown magic, right?" Darquesse said._

 _"No...No. I have no brother."_

 _Darquesse sighed. "Oscar. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Give us your brother. I just want to talk to him."_

 _Oscar's hand started to glow and shadows snaked around his body. "Bite me."_

 _Darquesse waved a hand and he flew into a wall. She walked up to him, her thumb touching her forefinger. She slowly moved them apart and Oscar felt his rib cage expand outwards, coming close to breaking his skin. He screamed._

 _"For the record, this is the easy way."_

 _"STOP!"_

 _Darquesse turned to see Devlin Sigil, Oscar's brother, walking up to her._

 _"I'll tell you what you want."_

 _"Oh, I already know everything you know. Tanith?"_

 _Tanith stepped up and decapitated Devlin with her sword._

 _"No!" Oscar screamed. "Why?"_

 _"Your brother was one of the only people who could have stopped me."_

 _With that, Darquesse flew out of the house._

 _"See you, Oscar," Tanith said happily to him. She wrapped an arm around Sanguine's hip and they sunk into the ground with a crumbling sound_


End file.
